'Twas The Night Before Halloween
67
A Brief Poetry Break
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DISCLAIMER-
The following is fiction, based upon traditional yuletide prose. This story, intended for halloween chills, and readings on other unholy nights, is not to imply that its author is a follower of the devil, nor has he ever been. The author recommends it not be read to young children and sternly disavows any personal kinship with the darklord lucifer. Although, once we did have coffee in a london tea house, and the fucker stiffed me with the cheque.....
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‘TWAS the night before Halloween,
And all throughout HELL
All the demons were dreaming
Of the night HEAVEN fell.
All the crosses were hung
Upside down for bad luck,
In hopes that St. Peter'd, soon
Wallow in muck.
THE sinners were burning,
In the river of Styx,
While visions of Hades, danced
‘Pon candlewicks.
And the lieutenants of hell
All awaited the nod,
For setting in motion
The rebellion ‘gainst God.
WHEN up from the fires,
There rose such a beast:
He sprang forth with horns,
Serpents tail and rams fleece!!!
Away to the heavens
He flew with his flame, he
Kicked in the Gates, and then
Threw back God's name .
AND what to God's terrified eyes had appeared?
But a chorus of demons, and
More than He'd feared!
With a satanic leader, so
Evil and grim,
God knew in a moment, it
Must be ‘St. Sin'.
MORE rapid than lightening, the
Demons, they came,
And screaming messianicly, St. Sin
Called them by name:
On Mephestopolies! On Beelzebub!
To the edges of HEAVEN,
Like a slaughterhouse sow,
Kill them all!
Kill Them All!!
KILL THEM ALL... NOW!!!"
AS God turned His head, to
Run from the sight, down
The avenues of Heaven, and
Into the night,
God was dressed in all silk, from
HIS head right on down,
‘Though the back of HIS trousers,
Once white, were now brown!
St. Sin's eyes, they twinkled, his
Mouth broke a smile, he
Knew Heaven would fall
Within just a short while.
THE demons grabbed God, and
They put Him in ties, and
He shook like a baby,
Just before a baby cries.
God spoke not a word, but
Fell straight out of grace, and
Dropping His stockings,
Turned red in the face!
God called to St. Sin, who
In turn, raised his cup.
God sprang to His sleigh, and
Yelled: "Go Fuck Yourselves, Well!"
Then away God retreated, on
The day Heaven fell.
AND I heard St. Sin's reply, as
He drove God from sight:
"To hell with you all,
It's been a hell of a night!"
.
© 2008 - R. MARTIN BASSO & 3 Doves Productions
CommentsLoading...
Ah, yes sir! Thank thee for thy comments!
If not the dark lord, then at least the dark humour! Bravo! Now expect thy backlash! I'm sure every TV evengelist here in the U.S. will take this and run with it as to why the Communists and Socialists and Satanists are gaining strength and why you must, simply MUST send in that $100 contribution to fend off the evil tide!
Bravo again, and have a great hallowe'en!
Oh, and I'll be keeping the $100 for myself, if you please, Pat Robertson!
Clever and profane! LOVED it. God's trousers once white now brown-- oooh.That's baaaaddd !
I agree with Chef Jeff you can expect a backlash -- but it will come from right here on the HubPages once word of this sacrilage gets out. Hopefully your disclaimer covers all liability:-). Good work, sir!
Hi Chef Jeff...
I just had to take a break from all of this political diatribe. I am, however, preparing to launch my next political article on ELECTION 2008 and it's gonna be a trunami. If you thought THIS was controvery, look for my next in the political series...
Good to hear from you again and as always, I appreciate your kind words. I'll take that $100 prize, dear sir!
Reid
Hiya mighty mom....
Hey there. Thank you for the kind support. I lived in Sacto fo r a bit (Roseville, Citrus Heights, Orangevale... Even downtown on 'H' Street....) I bounced around a bit after the dotcom 2001 bust. That's actually when I briefly entered culinary (Chef Jeff, you listenin'? lol).
Regardless, MM, like I mentioned to Jeff, I HAD to take a break from the political diatribe an dschisms for a bit. All too much, as The Beatles would say.
However, thanks for your support and it's nice to *meet* you..
Reid
Can't wait for your political denouement. It's been fun, but now it's like beating a dead (old, balding, spent) maverick. Meantime, how about putting your poetry skills to work on the economic crisis?
I hope no one in Roseville is reading this! They'd be highly insulted to see you mention their fair Rose City in the same sentence as CH and O-vale. LOL.
MM
P.S. Gotta love your name, too! Reid is my last name/maiden name and I'm sticking to it!
Well sounds like I've made some points there. Hopefully your kind words will offset those who take offense to this little poetic bit of herecy.
Reid, My sister lived in Roseville many years ago, on Champagne Lane (please!) and I visited here there. Jesus, what a hell-land! Ungodly hot, flat, boring, treeless (the occasional fig or palm don't count). I hope it has improved since.
PS: Tesla (ya, THAT Tesla! - during their famous years!) used to practice just down the street.
CW~
Wow, didn't realizr you were once so 'local'. Nice to see that you escaped the California con and got out to your lovely neck of the woods.
Yeah, you pretty much summed it up there!
LOL...satire is it lad? Loved it, not quite like Bamboozled, but interested take on life!
Constant Walker 3 years ago
Thou art genuinely a twisted individual... I loved it!!!